Jennifer "Sweet Bottom" Lopez
LIP SYNC VOCALS
Sure, it may be hard to believe, but Voodoo DeVille once briefly featured Jennifer Lopez, aka J-Lo, in the band's lineup. This was well before her rise to fame, her relationship (and associated trial testimony) with Puff Daddy / P-Diddy / Diddly Widdly, and becoming J-Lo. With Voodoo DeVille, she was known as "Sweet Bottom." It was hoped that she could add the spice and fiery vocals that the Voodettes once provided. However, it simply wasn't to be. The obstacles to success were many. First, she insisted on complex dance numbers with half-naked young men. Pops' age and limited dance skills were problematic in this regard (and we don't even want to think about him half-naked). Stacks and the Professor did their best, but when it became difficult to distinguish the dance numbers from foreplay, their wives put an end to their boy-toy careers. Jennifer's last performance with Voodoo DeVille is pictured here.
It was a gig at St. Peters. She left (or more precisely, was forced to leave) right in the middle of the second set. The band was right in the middle of her version of "Jambalaya". The booty shaking was going full tilt. Right in the middle of the number, Sweet Bottom's skin tight hot pants reached what engineers call their "elastic limit." The rear seam split from top to bottom, fully exposing her sweet bottom. As you can see in the photo, Stacks quickly turned his head in disgust. Rooster, T-Bone, and Pops seemed to take some notice of the catastrophic structural failure, but we're sure they were equally disgusted (that's their story and they're sticking to it). Sweet Bottom ran off the stage, and without slowing down, ran out the door, up the steps and into the street. She apparently flagged down a passing Harley and headed north.
Rumor has it that she fell into a deep depression, saddened by her separation from Voodoo DeVille, and nearly succumbed to Sterno poisoning several times. Why didn't she just come back? Perhaps she felt that she just couldn't live up to the memories of past glory with Voodoo DeVille, having "bared her soul" as it were. Maybe it was the memory of what it was like to dance with half-naked real men like Stacks and the Professor. It could be that she found out what was really in Pops' red Mojo Bag that always hung on the microphone. We'll never know. We hear things apparently have turned out all right for her. She's got a few big selling CD's, she's had the experience of testifying in a murder trial, she's been able to perform with one of those headset microphones just like the people who take your drive through order at MacDonalds, and she's been in a few movies (like "The Wedding Planner." Is that art or what?). For their part, Voodoo DeVille decided not to replace Sweet Bottom. In the end, they decided that straight ahead blues and their own considerable sex appeal was more than enough. They were later approached by both Mariah Carey and Brittany Spears to front the band, but, come on, even this bunch of middle-aged white guys has some standards.